sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
