He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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