So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
