Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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