White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
