Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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