yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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