ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
