I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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