I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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