I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
