I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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