sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize