Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
