Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize