how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
pray to the hookup gods
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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