I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
