Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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