His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize