Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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