every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
