You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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