we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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