Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize