My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
