there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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