My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
