I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
