Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
