Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
