So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
