Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
