i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
