this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
