i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
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Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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