He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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