And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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