I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
