Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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