I wanna passion pit in your ass
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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