we're blogging at a bar
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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