a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
