New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
