I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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