Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
