I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize