don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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