HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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