This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
