These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
