There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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