I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
im on a boat
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