You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
