So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
