You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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