i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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