the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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