sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize