Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
