Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
