I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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