i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
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I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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